sunday

its sunday, im trying to quit smoking, so i havent had one in a while.  its been rough stuff, but i can do it, if i wanna. half the time i dont think i should, because i like it.  it doesnt matter, trying something like that only proves to myslef that i am a loser that can not accomplish jack shit. oh well… i have to go spend half my paycheck on rent now, and then  possibly go out…

…a lil later…
so here i am, just getting home on a sunday at 2:00am, after going out with june up in cranberryish area… interesting enough, i got 2 packs of smokes for free, so we will just say that the quitting smoking thing isnt working right now 😀 on top of that… on my way home i realized that i really dont live an average ordinary life. this weekend i came home one night a drunken bloody mess, the following night arrived home, drunk off my ass again after being really bitched at by a bar owner, and missing some clothing… and then tonight, i ended up leaving the bar and going for a walk with someone through the dark dreary woods of north park i think @ 1:00am where my company disappeared for a short amount of time when i decided to say hi to a tree, and i thought i was about to be brutally slaughtered for a minute or two… 😀

ok really if you ever here me bitch about me hating being myself, just smack me, especially cause there is alot of shit left out of the above statements…

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